The renaming of America

Donald Trump is to announce that the USA be renamed Trumplandia. White House sources have confirmed that while this has been a long-held ambition for the US president, it has been propelled to the top of his agenda after an aide pointed out that the name America was first seen on a map by a German cartographer referencing an Italian sailor - his team's antipathy to all things European is well documented.

Once the purchase of Greenland has been completed and all wars stopped the slogan ‘Make America Great Again’ (MAGA) can be renamed to TIG (Trumplandia IS Great).

This will be a great relief to the rest of the continent, whose citizens have looked on in some frustration for many years while a single country who couldn’t be bothered to come up with a more memorable name* in the first place misappropriated the name of their continent for its own use.

*it is ironic that Amerigo Vespucci didn’t of course ‘discover’ the Americas for Europe. This was almost certainly Columbus, who may or may not have seen a Chinese map.